Smooth Wooden Ball Interview with Kathy Griffin

SWB: This is the Smooth Wooden Ball with the SC Naked News, with Kathy Griffin. Welcome to the show Kathy.

KG: Thank you Smooth Wooden Ball for having me.

SWB: Sure thing. Something a little different here. We've got Kathy's headshot on the screen instead of her computer image because she didn't have any make up or hair people here.

KG: My team wasn't informed so, I wasn't able to get my hair weave, my tapes in my head. You know they can put tape on your head now to give you a face-lift with scotch tape and rubberbands.

SWB: Well, now with that out of the way, I wanted to ask you why the red hair?

KG: Smooth Wooden Ball, red is funny; I am funny. I should be red.

SWB: Do you ever have Brooke over to the house and do each other's hair?

KG: Brooke came over to the house about a week ago. And like usual, we just got into another bitter catfight. We tried to resolve it, but it was about who is prettier. And I'm sticking to my guns and going with me.

SWB: How would the "Blue Lagoon" have been different if you had been in the starring role?

KG: Probably would have been hotter, a little sexier.

SWB: It probably wouldn't have been the PG rating.

KG: It would have been closer to my earlier porn work.

SWB: Okay. I'm sorry, I seem to have lost my place here. Here, here's something that I was thinking about. You know, there are so many things on cable television. Is there any way to keep track of what's on and what's going to be on in the future? I mean, how does somebody do that?

KG: You mean like, I don't know, the cable guide?

SWB: Yeah, what's....

KG: The cable guide is a very important periodical. It guides you through cable.

SWB: Oh, I see.

KG: Yeah. So, you look it up. If you want to know what's on cable, you get a guide, and then it tells you what to watch and when. And how to feel about it. I understand that their sales have gone through the roof in the past few months.

SWB: I don't know what that's.......

KG: Subscriptions.

SWB: But the cable guide has nothing to do with how to hook up the cable.

KG: No. That's for the cable man.

SWB: Oh, the cable man guide.

SWB: What do you think your first starring role in a made for TV movie will be?

KG: I think that I'll be a raging bulimic who is married to a man who doesn't know. Then when he finds out he'll leave me, and I'll join a women's consciousness raising group. I'll get over my bulimia and help teens.

SWB: Who would be your male interest in that?

KG: Matty Lawrence.

SWB: Is that one of the Lawrence brothers?

KG: Uh-huh

SWB: Which one?

KG: I think the cuter one.

SWB: Who's about eleven?

KG: I think so.

SWB: That's a little bit illegal.

KG: Well, if that's how you want to think about it. You know, in Denmark they don't think about those things.

SWB: Well, Kathy, thanks for being on the show.

KG: Thanks, Smooth.